As with anyone, I am not free of all prejudice. In fact I have one that I hold dear and use in a theraputic sense. Idaho is my scapegoat. This is something I enjoy, not because I have something to heap all my woes upon, but life seems to have made a game out of my dislike by providing me with weight to support my position. Mostly I refer to drivers with Idaho license plates. Often while I am out and about I will witness, and participate in, the stupidity of inept drivers, and more often than not these drivers have Idaho plates.
When I started uttering the phrase that is the title of this rant in place of normal cussing Blaire thought I was paranoid and prejudiced. Now after being married for two years she has had enough practical experience with me to admit that I am a magnet for stupid people everywhere, and unfortunately I live close to the Idaho border.
Take my most recent, and by far my most memorable, experience so far. Driving home from Kansas we had decided in advance to stay the night in Denver. I happen to be driving when we arrived in Denver, and we arrived at rush hour. Remember, this was Denver, CO, and we were driving from Kansas to Utah.
Well, like I said, it was rush hour and the freeway was getting clogged, but still moving at a brisk pace. I was feeling good about this big city experience till up ahead I noticed a beat up truck, not in the right lane, but in the middle lane right in front of me, and I was approaching at an alarming rate. To a driver this means that the vehicle you're approaching is going slower than you. This truck was going WAY slower, at least 15mph below the speed limit. Well, with it being rush hour I couldn't swerve around it but had to brake and wait for an opening to appear. At this point my driver's rage was minimal as this had been a good trip so far, and even though the liklihood of a rear-end hit was increasing, I was handling this well enough. Then I noticed this truck had Idaho plates. There, in Colorado, while I was driving from Kansas, this inept driver from Idaho, managed to find me. What were the chances!
Have you ever had the experience of blowing all your neural synapses at once? I doubt anyone can say yes to this honestly since remembering such a thing would be difficult, but I think it happened to me. As the improbability, and yet the reality, of the situation I was facing began to sink in, the mantra of idaho...idaho...Idaho! started coming out of my mouth. Really I don't remember the next few moments. When reason began again to reassert itself I found myself having to apologize for waking the baby in the back (apparently Elliette doesn't sleep well to 'IDAHO!...IDAHO!'), and for a bit of raceway driving. I guess I was desperate to make my way as far as possible, as quickly as possible, from that nexus of unfortunate impossibility.
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7 comments:
I feel you. But for me it's usually a fluffy head of white hair driving a Buick. I decided that's way worse than any license plate.
ps your word verification is "worse". haha!
I usually find myself saying "way to go Idaho." Yes I have had problems with them as well. However, I had to laugh while reading this because I believe you were driving Melissa and Justin's vehicle from Kansas to Utah, which would also have had IDAHO plates;) HA HA
@ Hilary: my second most used rant goes like this. OLD PEOPLE!
I think it's catching on. Even Blaire uses it now.
@Brooks': DOH
HAHAHAHAHA!! Oh Chris... I really like you.
Well Chris I have to say that I am super offended that you could possibly hate the stupid idiotic clueless Idaho Drivers that I have to deal with EVERY DAY. They complain a lot about Utah drivers up here though. I think its the mortal fear of every Idahoan to have to drive in Salt Lake. When people really get into complaining about Utah though I just say something like "Guess what Utah drivers think about you guys?" which always piques their interest. So then I say "Nothing, cuz Utahns dont give a crap about Idaho and barely even register that its the state north of them." That usually pisses them off worse. Hillbillies get mad when you make fun of the motherland.
As I recall in the early Logan years we had assembled a choir to preform the idaho..idaho. . Idaho song. I hated Idaho. I swore I never there EVER. And now I am an Idaho resident. Though I love Boise. I do have to agree about the drivers. They are why I never take the freeway, unless I am going to Utah.
I for one am deeply offended :)
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