How To Eat Crab

First, you need to know what kind of crab you like. I recommend going to Red Lobster or Joe's Crab Shack and trying a combo of Snow (that's Opilio for all you Discovery Channel buffs), King, and Dungeness (if they have it). There are probably other types of crabs, but they're used for stuffing or other lesser dishes.

King crab is HUGE. When choosing what crab to eat it's important to remember that size isn't everything. There may be more meat with King crab, but it has a fishy taste. I hate fish. If you like fish (salmon, trout, halibut, it doesn't matter), then King could be for you. King also isn't tender, and can be chewy.

Snow and Dungeness are much smaller, but are very tender and have a buttery taste. Snow is our favorite. Dungeness tastes the same, but in short, is UGLY and looks nasty.

Next up is how to actually get the insides out. When you order crab you will get a couple basic tools (if you don't, ask for them). First is a nutcracker. The only other tool you might need is the tiny fork. I love the tiny fork. It makes me feel even bigger than I am, but when I eat mashed potatoes with it I end up eating very little which in turn makes me feel smaller :)

IMPORTANT! The tiny fork is NOT for getting meat out of the shell. You will end up destroying the meat and end up with nothing. Crab meat won't hold up to alot of grabbing, pulling, cutting, or piercing.

Ok, here we go, actually eating the crab. Remember, the goal when eating crab is to eat each piece as whole as possible. When served crab you'll get at least one arm and some legs. The legs we'll get to last since they are the easiest to eat. The arm is the only part that you'll need the nut cracker for. DISCLAIMER: King crabs need a nutcracker for most of the meal. They are hard and spiny and no fun at all to eat. Anyway, start with the claw. Take hold of the claw with one hand and the next segment with the other and bend and pull to separate the two. Then grab the moveable 'finger' and bend it backwards and pull out. Both of these actions should remove the cartilage from inside the claw. Then use the cracker to crack open the claw. Use the fork or fingers to pull apart the shell and grab the meat inside (which should still be intact).

For all other parts repeat the grabbing/pulling to remove the inner cartilage. Now, DON'T use the cracker for the other parts. Simply grab a segment with both hands and crack in two. Be gentle though. If done right you should end up with meat hanging out of one end. Easy. Sometimes the meat will be hiding inside one end. In that case you use the tiny fork like a can opener and open the soft side of the shell.

Crab eating can be fun, like eating ribs (but with less sauce), if you let yourself. Blaire and I got really messy at Joe's (I was eating potatoes and sausage without a fork :P). If you don't get messy, then you did it wrong.